Monday, December 31, 2012

P.S.- This is wordy, even for me. I'm sorry. See it through anyways, huh?*

P.P.P.S.- If you're in a hurry, feel free to skip the first two thirds, and cut in at 'Plvs Vltra'.

I'm scrambling to write this now, and not tomorrow, though I'm already far too delayed and late, lest this be seen as my grand rallying cry for 2013, or a sendoff to 2012.

It's neither.

I made two New Year's Resolutions for 2012 though, as a rule, I don't do New Year's resolutions. They strike me as pretentious, over-zealous, and consequently, ill-fated.  I have made one other in my life-- for 1993. I kept it up through that entire year, and solidly for nearly a decade afterward. But that's otherwise.

The first was derived from some of the problems I felt in my life that came home with me from the UK-- primarily, the loss and declension of viable, worthwhile relationships due to modern society.  So I opted to give up texting for one year. Because I am tired of relationships at arms' length. I had enough of that while overseas-- every relationship I was involved in (other than the one I should actually have been investing in and nurturing) was conducted electronically.  So, because I wanted to maintain healthier relationships, I vowed to use my phone only as a phone. Because I feel people are worth that. If it's too big a hassle for me to call someone that I desired a conference with, then they were not getting the most of my attention and respect. By the same token, I felt that if anyone wanted me to be a part of their life badly enough, they'd call.  As a rule, they didn't.  I discovered, quickly, that texting is simply how we communicate now. Veering off this course proved highly inconvenient and bothersome to the relationships I most wanted to enhance, ultimately irritating those around me.  So, I resumed texting. And, eventually, rejoined Facebook. I really hate that I'm a sellout.

The second, again, was a direct result of the previous year and the upheaval it contained. I decided to be a better person. Simple. Do what I said I'd do, be where I said I'd be. Stop lying unnecessarily or otherwise.  Show respect and deference to those I came in contact with, value those around me. Pour myself out for the betterment of others. I feel this has been a hit-and-miss.  Those that I most desired to see my new self-awareness and social concern didn't, or weren't directly benefited by what feeble gestures I could offer them. I only came up short, I was only a letdown.  The people who might've noticed simply by routine contact with me already thought I was a pretty good guy. So they weren't impressed either. On the upside, if I ever did let them down, I probably did it less recently.

I will not be making a resolution this year. But I am hurrying to the heart of this matter lest merely by temporal association, you think that is my objective.

Carlos V, son of Ferdinand and Isabella, had his motto interwoven repeatedly into the repetitious patterns of the ceiling of his throne room in the Alhambra palace in Granada, Spain. The angular Latin text fits magnificently into the Moorish tiles and endless tessellations, and I stood transfixed when I walked into the room.

Plvs Vltra.

In English, our nearest translation is 'further on', though a direct translation might be something akin to 'better added' or 'the best to come'; in Spanish it's more like 'there is more'. And these, particularly the first, have been my rallying cry for the last 7 years. Or, should have been. I've lately, or all my life, been guilty of just letting life happen to me. It's the down side of being easy going. So, along with 'more better things will be added Further On', I append the following:

One step in the right direction, every day.

That conveniently doesn't take into account the missteps I'm likely to take while our little terrasphere swings me to a routinely sufficient solar viewpoint, but let's not be pedantic. There is an endpoint toward which I am striving and I intend to address the getting there every time I crawl out of my bed/hammock/large pile of blankets. Life ought not to just happen; once in awhile it needs to be achieved. The best roads aren't necessarily straight, but they go somewhere.

*P.P.S.- 'P.S.' means 'post-script', if you were unaware (and thereby, 'P.P.S.' means post-post-script), indicating that the note was added after the main body of the letter. Locating a postscript at the bottom of a letter seems a bit redundant, I think, because it's Obviously added afterwards. But that's just semantics. I therefore added my postscript Prior to the main body of the text because After re-reading this mental oatmeal, it occurred to me that you might need a push to carry on through. In the event You feel the need to institute a New Year's Resolution, why not take up locating all of your postscripts into the top margin of any notes or letters you send? Think about that the next time you sit down to your typewriter, eh?