Cliches in Abundance

The day after Thanksgiving, the American Holiday, is known as Black Friday. It is the biggest shopping day of the year, and those brave or dumb enough to risk public appearances, anywhere from shopping malls to coffee shops to the average traffic light quickly understand why the epithet has been attached. The past 2 years, I've been out of the country.

The day after Christmas is probably the second biggest shopping day: after Christmas sales, end of year events, returns, and gift cards all tempt the otherwise debatably sensible masses out of the peace and warmth of a day at home with American football and leftovers (We don't celebrate Boxing Day, in name at least). Last year, I spent this evil day travelling between Roma and Venezia, Italia.

This year, I did the smartest thing I could imagine, and followed my best friend Brandon out of town. He spends the hectic days in the woods. This seemed like the best solution to me, and a few others, as well, so we loaded up the Red Dragon (my petroleum fed pickup truck) with my old 18 foot trailer laden with 5 fourwheelers, pitched in enough food and sleeping apparati into the cargo box. And Brandon, his younger brother Vinny (my sister's boyfriend, conveniently enough), and our friends Cody (whom we call Younger, to avoid confusion between himself and my cousin Cody- who's older than Younger), and Ryan called Tucker, and myself, made our way down the off the Ozark Plateau towards that area of the Boston Mountains known as Devil's Den.

I was nearing sick, and am not improved after a nite out of doors, but I don't regret it. Let the rest of the world run to the commercial centers, we prefer the safety and calm of the wilderness. We were certainly fulfilling every notion of rednceck America, particularly Arkansas, all bedecked in camouflage and Carhartts, making chili over an open fire, drinking root beer, riding four wheelers, and spitting a lot.

I borrowed my grandfather's 20 year old Honda for the occasion, and am still impressed at how well it still performed after having set for 5 months without starting. If you're in the market, Honda gets my vote.






PS- Be sure and scroll on down, I posted twice otherwise today.
Cheers! and Happy New Years'!

My Ring

As near as I can tell, there was no country in the western world not somewhat affected by the American stock market crash of Black Thursday, October 24, 1929 . America itself plunged into the Great Depression, a vile, ominous period that sought dominance over the previous champion, the Pretty Good Depression of 1867, and its weaker cousin, the Slump, a few years later. (Pardon, please, my irreverant treatment of these dark days of modern history. Laugh to keep from crying.)

The Great Depression hit northwest Arkansas with a vengeance. After half a century of unsustainable agricultural practices in what had been a deciduous forest for centuries untold, the topsoil of mid-America was left dried and without minerals and water, and began, after a 7-year drought begun in the late 20s, to simply blow away. Northwest Arkansas, along with northeas Oklahoma, southwest Missouri, and areas further afield, became known as The Dust Bowl. Airborne silt filtered its way into automobile engine compartments, shut and drawn windows, and eventually, the diet of the locals. Quite a few people left for sunny California, America's Promise Land.

Mine didn't. On the one side, they were too poor to move. On the other, they held jobs in town, with the school and Post Office, and managed to subsist, barely. This was my dad's family, the Browns. My grandfather, Marion Edison (Marion, Ed, M.E., or 'B' as I like to call him), was born in '24, and remembers the poverty of his developing years with striking keenness. He had few, if any, 'bought' toys. The man can by gosh make a kite tho-- he had a decade of practice, collecting old newspapers and twigs, binding them together with glue made from flour or cornmeal. By the time he'd saved long enough to buy string, he would've had a dozen kites awaiting.

He listened to a radio serial once a week, the name of which escapes us both. It featured some super hero, one of dozens of men that were beyond the constraints of their modern world and its financial difficulties and natural disasters, and like a continent full of boys his age, he never missed an episode. At one point, the breakfast cereal company that sponsored the show put out a promotion, whereby, if you sent in the proper order form, the tops of 10 of their boxes, and 25 cents shipping, they would send you a tin replica of the superhero's ring. As an 8 year old, young Ed simply couldn't continue living without one. Unfortunately, he had to, as his family either couldn't afford that much cereal, or by the time they did, the offer had ended, or they couldn't spare the 25 cents. Any road, my grandfather didn't get his ring, and like all of the other little defeats suffered in his early years, he filed it away for future justification.

30 years later, when he had built up a bit of savings for the purpose, he went to a jeweler, either with the original promotion ad from the cereal box, if he'd tucked it away and saved it that long, or simply an image in his mind, and had the jeweler make up the most impressive duplicate of this ring possible. B wore the ring for nearly 50 years, until it ceased to fit in old age, and retired it to a box in his dresser. There it stayed until I mentioned it in passing during a conversation about his Dad, Emerson Leslie Brown. He looked surprised that I'd taken interest in the band, as the rest of the family thought it a might garish, and said it was still around, would I like it? Of course I did, and there've been less than a dozen days in the previous 2 years since he gave it to me that I haven't worn it myself, through nearly 20 different countries, and half a dozen US states.

The [Photographic] Christmas Card I really wanted to send...

For those who'd forgotten my quirky sense of humor.

The Christmas Card

Well, here it is, my annual, much awaited Christmas card. Much more belated than usual, at that... I hope you're not all too underwhelmed. This is actually last year's card, but as not everyone I know has read it, and since I got such positive feedback, I use it again. There was to be a picture included this year, but once again, blasted dial-up internet and cantankerous home computer have willed otherwise.

Any rate, I hope that on this holiday we call Christ's Mass your hearts and souls may be filled with love for one another. Bear in mind, that even though Jesus, called Christ, was actually born sometime far earlier in the year than December, and not in a cozy, clean, tidy little stable like a more traditional Christmas card might lead you to believe, he did in fact come as a gift of love to you and every other person on the planet, whether you love Him or them or not. May you give out of love yourself, may your Christmas be merry, may you survive unscathed the intense marketing and commercial schemes that have been threatening your sanity for the last few months, may you value what you have not as much as you ought to value what you do in fact have.

To those of you not Christians, I apologize for the mess and confusion that our most publicized holy day may inflict upon you. I won't say that Christmas isn't about gifts or some jolly old man in a red suit giving presents to children, because it is. Christ was a gift to the lost souls of this planet, a cure for the spiritually diseased and undeserving. England's Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas of days of yore, took it upon himself to give out of his own pocket to those in need just as God had given to him. You don't have to believe in Santa Claus, speaking to all faiths now; you can blame his myth for ruining what some people count a myth anyways, but don't discredit either of the men that are the definition of our modern idea of Christmas. Christmas is a time of setting ourselves aside to focus on the needs of others, and giving to them from our hearts. Dr. Marshall Edwards, currently of Blowing Rock, North Carolina, once said that Jesus exemplified the perfect gift. He reflected both the supreme needs of the recipient, as well as the ultimate desire within the heart of the Giver. Give this Christmas because it is in your heart to do so. Don't do it not to feel guilty, don't do it because tradition mandates you must. Give because you love and you can't not do either.

Love someone this Christmas, and let them know that you love them. Know that you wouldn't be reading this now if I wasn't at least moderately fond of you. ;)
At any rate, I'll step down from my pulpit now, with apologies. It's December 23rd, and tonite we're having Spaghetti Arkansanese at my Grandmother's new house atop the hill. We'll return there tomorrow evening for gifts and our more 'traditional' Christmas dinner. Christmas dinner around our place isn't Christmas dinner until at least 6 people have been addressed with someone else's name, till my grandmother has brought out the traditional ham and spinach quiche (a perennial rural Arkansas favourite... ô¿ô...), homemade guacamole, and a ruthless dosage of sarcasm. I do love our family recipes. Northwest Arkansas boasts North America's oldest Italian Immigrant settlement, Tontitown (where I work, actually), and as such we have a strong Italian cuisine bent, but it's not Italian food as you'd find in the motherland. Usually, our spaghetti comes with a massive heap of deep fried chicken atop it. We are the only family I know of whose Christmas dinner primarily features a quiche. I am proud of that. My aunt's husband smokes up an amazing briscuit, my uncle brings the most amazing, heart-burning pico de gallo (salsa) you can imagine, my mom makes guacamole, and my grandmother dices up chicken for chicken salad sandwiches. My apologies to the vegetarians and vegans among you, but I am now drooling, and am off to dinner.

Happy Christmas!

Lathered

As my time in Europe was winding down, most everyone would ask what I missed most about the States, and was looking forward to returning to. My standard answer was 'the people. Same as I miss most about Europe when in the States, and what I look forward to when I finally make it south to Australia-- the people I know there. Places don't vary all that much. Cities are cities, and John Deere dealerships abound globally, and you can pretty well assume that a grocery store will have all of the same wares as any other grocery store. But it's the people that make a place.'

I still feel that way, but at some point or another while in England, I did realise one thing that I am now very glad to have returned stateside to: American-sized showers. I can actually wash my feet and back again.

I still don't know where home is (back on momma's sofa again, hopefully for a much shorter duration than last time...), but I look forward to the day where I am some place of my own that I'm able to walk around barefoot, dance naked, and sing or make other strange vocal broadcasts to suit myself. Locale isn't the most pertinent question, though. Location will follow other qualifications, such as why, and who with.

So what do I miss most about Europe? Other than the folks? The way English house windows are made, local accents, doner kebabs, public transit, smart cars, German Christmas markets, wall mount hot water heaters. Last year, I missed the smell of Imperial Leather soap. This year, I brought home half a dozen bars and a bottle of shower gel. I started in on the latter last nite, and it is phenomenal. That's one problem solved then... now if I could just import some One...

There are other things that it's good to get back to, and I've been trying to list them, but I can't quite recall them all. American sized trucks join the ranks with our gargantuan showers. We got a new trio of trucks in here at the shop and there's an incredibly sexy Ford F-250 3/4 ton 4x4 out in the parking lot that's been distracting me from my daily duties for hours now...

It's nice to be back where I know my way around. I can once again give directions that include such phrases as "next to where such-and-such usedtowas..." or "down past the old McKim place" and "this side of the 68 east intersection" or "Well, you know where my uncle Larry's place is..."

I'm certain there's other things (Root Beer, little hole-in-the-wall Mexican joints-Taquerias-, and my dog, Cotton), but as I'm actually clocked in and supposed to be working--

Ham Sandwich Mentality

*Pictures forthcoming...dang stinking dial-up connection at home isn't doing so well... it's a might sick. I'd post some pictures now, but I'm at work (back at John Deere, temporarily, doing end-of-year inventory), and posting in a hurry.

Just a passing thought.

I don't know whatever became of Blake Pianalto. It seems he'd been dating one of the Isaac twins and was perhaps slated to marry her, but I never heard for certain. In either case, Blake was a good dude, but we weren't exceptionally close. The only thing I really remember about him was a short speech he made one day in our Bowling Class. (Yep, that's right, in Grade 12, I took a semester long class on bowling. Twas grand.) He'd recently broken up with his girlfriend, and when we asked why, he gave us the same excuse he'd given her. To wit:

"It's not that I don't like her. It's just that I've had enough of her. I like ham sandwiches, but if I ate one every day out of 30, I wouldn't want any more."

Profound. I would, of course, hate to be on the receiving end of that argument, and I'm certain she was far from mollified, but it got him out of a relationship.

I've never felt the need to attach this philosophy to any particular person whom I've had a relationship with, but the principle makes a great deal of sense to me, and my supervisor Todd, out here at John Deere. The job at this dealership that I perform isn't exceptionally tough. The negative side of that is that it's not always exceptionally challenging. Sometimes that's nice, at others it's tedious. I do enjoy it, to some extent (this IS, after all, the third different time I've been employed here.) I just get bored. But that goes for most anything in my life: I get too satisfied. I need a constant inflow of something different, new, changing: fresh water in the pond, so to speak.

I burn out quickly. I can get excited about most anything, and put all my energy into it-- the last week back here at the Deere Dealership has been fun, but I know it'll wear off-- but few things have sticking power. As my profile says, 'ever dissatisfied, seeking, and searching.'

I actually ate only ham sandwiches my first few months back in the States this year: I was on the nearest thing to a health food kick as I've ever experienced (and low on cash) so for lunch every day I made sandwiches of whole grain bread, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, organic cheese and sliced meat. Every day. For months. I've now not eaten a sandwich in about 5 months.

It's a bit of a joke with Todd and I, that I'll just stick around and do whatever until I'm bored, then I'll race off for whatever excitement I can conceive of, till that or my wallet wears thin, then I'll start over. And yeah, it's kind of funny, and it makes for a good story, but... At times it feels less like life but verisimilitude of it...

Any rate, the quest continues. Further On.

Ground Regained

Howdy howdy from old Northwest Arkansas. I've thought endlessly over the last 3 days of what all brilliant thoughts I was going to plop onto here at the first instant, but I'm going to have to wait for the second instant... short on time as of yet, no pictures loaded, people to catch up with...

Any rate, just had to get on and let everyone know that, regardless of the low oil pressure reading on the 767 (why the CRAP they felt the need to tell us this as we left the ground embarking on a 10 HOUR TRANSATLANTIC flight, I cannot fathom, but thanks...), we did manage to drop out of the sky only on schedule and towards a proper landing strip.

If you're not currently in NWA, be you in Edinburgh, Dubai, or Houston, I miss you.

Lines from the Second-to-last house in Greenock

For those of you infamiliar with the second-to-last house in Greenock, it is the home of my friend Lori from the U of Ark days, and her husband Scott. (For further investigation, see www.scottandlori.co.uk -- sorry, I still haven't figured out this dadblasted link thing) I've been in Scotland now for about 60 hours, and the weather, and locals, have been phenomenal. For those concerned, though I did spend a full 48 hours in Edinburgh, I missed the castle. Too much else to do, too much to gain the gate, monetarily. I did get my own private tour about the old city, from my new friend Katie. She's a volunteer at the Royal Scotland Museum, was doing a survey of museum visitors, and we struck up a conversation. One geek finds another...

But, as to the time at hand, I am in Greenock now, which is west of Glasgow a wee bit, where Lori and Scott have organised a house party for the evening, and I have voluntarily stepped forward to cook all of their Scottish friends a good ol' pot of chili con carne (and what else would I?). I think I've averaged about a pot every 10 days, but as I've yet to make it for the exact same group twice, all's well. Lori has described me to the locals here whom I'll meet in the next day or two as her 'chicken farming friend from home in Arkansas,' and I believe it's caused her some angst and warying concern to discover that that qualificaion is one I no longer hold. I do still like to introduce myself as Farmer Brown, but no, I don't raise chickens by the thousand any longer. That train has sailed...

Tomorrow, after church (during which, I've been told, Lori has already volunteered my services as a secondary Sunday school teacher) we're going to Scott's folks for lunch. Haggis.

So any rate, I'm here thru Monday, then down to Nottingham for the Frisbee team Christmas social monday night, German Christmas market on Tuesday (it began November 25, the day after I left for Bath. Consequently, I've already missed out on 2+ weeks of potential bratwurst consumption... arrrrgh.), then we'll have a Chrismtas party at either 49 Claude (my former residence in Notts), or 100A Montpelier (Juan, Giuliana, and Alex' current abode in the same), featuring a simmering pot of Ye Olde Classic Jeffro Chili con Carne.

And here's today's bit of wisdom, as was penned round about a month ago, the day Celine and I went to Cannes while in Cote d'Azur:

Monday, November 13th
For as much as things change between continents, it truly is fascinating how much they stay the same- particularly if you pay attention to the children. The day of the harvest festival in Navis, Austria, I saw a bunch of 8 year old boys running, with a bucket, determined delight, and anticipation, over to the fountain in the town centre. I never saw who they soaked with it, but I'm certain it was one of them's sister. Boys and their mischeif are simply universal, insuppressive, and indisguisable. It was the sort of thing Matt Lockard, Adam Cole, and I would've plotted against Adam's older sisters. Or Kathy Shilling.

I was on a beach in Cannes France today. It wasn't a nude beach, though plenty of people who shouldn't've been were near enough. I did see a pair of naked children, probably aged 3 and 4, run down to the water's edge in unbridled glee. The younger one, the boy, in front, ran in up to just over his ankles, stopped, put his hands on his hips, and considered. He was going to stand there and pee in That Water, Outside, in Public, and he was Looking Forward To It.

That was me, twenty years ago. Or, twenty minutes previous, had I not found a public toilet when I did. No, things aren't all that different. Latitude and longitude are, after all, creations of man. Language, infrastructure, and mealtimes are as well, and thus distinctively fabricated, but the species that came up with them isn't quite so diverse. Not, at least, when we're standing naked on the sea shore.

--
Life is enjoyed most when you're laughing. Laugh hard, laugh often, and think of me.

For the Shamrockers...

I checked into a Temple Bar hostel in Dublin
only to discover that the toilet floor was bubblin,'
the kitchen hall was crap, all the plates in need of scrubbin,'
and when they told me they had no lockers,
I began to fret of having chosen Shamrockers.

But then I met Tim, and he's a hella nice guy,
and Jana, whose mind works better when dry,
Curly-headed Katie- who's on the hunt for local guys.
And her partner in crime is a girl named Maree,
who can't pick up when her hairs gone curly.

They sit in the back with a cutie named Hayley
and crack jokes on Dean's consumption of Bailey's.
And Lauren hops off the bus (what's this one? a Healy?)
in the stormy, soggy, home of Paddy,
snapping pictures with Rohan and Matty.

And I sit here and smile when I survey your faces
and wish you the best when you get to your places.
I hope in your memories I've left my own traces
and perhaps if some song ever tickles your ear,
you'll remember Shamrocking with old Jeff John Deere.

'Cause I'd hate if Amy forget that first cider,
or the spectacular sights we all witnessed beside her.
And Jess, who's perhaps the tours' quietmost rider
will somewhere in her mental files save
fond memories of Erin, Becca and Dave.

And don't forget Tricia, who's hell on the clutch,
who for all the banter, don't hate ye too much.
And Karen's good for the local histories, and such,
while Brad and Mick are up for a walk and a beer,
be it in Sydney, Helvetia, Glasgow, or here.

Forget ye not Kathryn, who causes no stir
reading her book with Helena predictably sitting next to her.
Sandie, by the way, has a great sense of humour;
Avery's one who's gifted for song,
And I'm dang awful glad you've all come along.

But as I stand in my spotlight and guess at your thoughts
I worry if I've behaved every day as I ought,
and wonder if we'll ever meet again elsewhere, or not.
I can only hope that if you're ever around,
you'd kindly drop in and stay with ol' Jeffro Brown.

Cheers to ye all. And here's one last pub tune...
And since it falls into my lot, that I should rise and you should not
I gently rise and softly call, "Goodnight and joy be to you all!"
So fill to me the Parting Glass and drink a health whate'er befall,
then gently rise and softly call, "Goodnight and joy be to you all!!"

I wish you all well, and I certainly hope to hear from you in future. My sincerest apologies if I misspelled your names, or if you didn't want your "What-happens-on-Shamrocker-stays-on-Shamrocker" reputations put in internationally accessible text.
Ooops. ;)

Those of you whom I wasn't able to properly say good-bye to this morning, I sincerely apologise. It was all a bit flustering, and if you haven't realised already, when you're trekking round with a pack, it feels like you spend more time saying good-bye than actually enjoying other people's company. Rest completely satisfied that I've enjoyed yours this week, and wish I could've had both more time with you, and more time to say fareyewell. I say that birds of a feather do not, in fact, flock together. They collide in midair. That being the case, I look forward to seeing you next time my head's in the clouds... Meanwhile, Further On.

All my love,
jeff